Taking Care of Business

We are potty training. And no, this is not one of those times when the presumptuous man says something annoying like, 'we are pregnant.' No, I've recently learned that when your child is potty training, the whole world is potty training with her. Whole world in this case being:
1. Me
2. Meredith
3. Oma
4. Opa
5. Gram
6. Grandpa
7. Panela, Serita, Ameena, Melinda, Belu, Teri and everyone else working at her daycare
8. All the other kids at the daycare
9. People at the BJ's in Plymouth Meeting
10. All people driving on Ridge Avenue at around 6:00 PM on Sunday
11. All the people at the playground in Whitemarsh
12. Kristin Sladen
13. Everyone enduring this ranting blog

Indulge me please as I explain Ellie's approach to taking care of business this fine Sunday.
Ellie and her second cousin, Cassin
As long time readers of this blog already know, Sunday is Meredith's day to sleep in, so I got up with Ellie that morning. Now, we've been very seriously potty training this whole week, but up to this point, daycare, Oma and Opa and Meredith have done all the heavy lifting. I've only had to cheer, participate in some "Potty Parades" (I'll get to that) and generally tell Ellie with all sincerity how incredibly proud I am of her. Ah, how I miss those laid back days at work.

We start the morning as usual, with your basic playtime. I had changed her from her overnight sleeping attire (including diaper) into some clothes for the day including her big girl underpants. We were playing Sesame Street when all of the sudden it's Niagara Falls in our basement. Ellie wet her underpants, the rug, and I'm pretty sure the cement underneath that. It caught her by surprise - she is crushed and frankly, I don't think I was as positive as I should have been because from that moment on, Ellie wanted to switch back to diapers. It's not that I was negative at all, but this situation had left her in a state of shock and I was busy cleaning, not comforting.

This sucks for many reasons. Not only had everyone else that week been tremendously successful at the training, this was the first time Ellie and I had been alone for hours and I blew it. All the efforts that came before me from so many people and now, she's not going to be out of diapers until she's five. (I do tend to exaggerate.) Nevertheless, this is what is going through my mind. Finally, Ellie and I get out of the house, avec diapers, and get ourselves thoroughly distracted with the playground and coffee at Wawa. I explain to her that when we get home we're going to make pancakes, wake mommy and try to sit on the potty again. She's an open -minded-get-back-on-the-horse kind of gal.
Daddy and Ellie in a Potty Parade
Fast forward past two mini-tantrums with Meredith about going on the potty and around 10:30 - she pees on the potty. This is big. This calls for an all out, bust a move, run in circles like an idiot singing your heart out Potty Parade to get her back in the swing of things. What pray tell you ask is a 'potty parade'? Why, it's only a huge celebration of all things Ellie going on the potty. Whenever she goes, we all look in the potty. Then we start to sing and dance and march around in circles to the glories of Ellie going on the potty. It may seem forced and contrived to the outsider, but the sheer excitement and joy a parent feels when their child is beaming with pride at their opus in the toilet is quite genuine. She has not been inspired to use the potty by offerings of stickers or toys or other rewards/bribes. Nope, it's the Potty Parade that our little one loves.

This is just the beginning, because after that it's a litany of poop and pee in the potty all morning and early afternoon. Truly it was exciting, but the real test comes after her nap. So, fast forward past the nap. We're heading to BJ's for some major shopping. The tension builds as Ellie asks for some juice in the car. Oh boy. Juice runs through her like the Mississippi. The clock is ticking. We get parked and get in the store and Ellie says she has to go potty. Oh boy. Fortunately, on the suggestion of her mother, Meredith purchased a literal port-o-potty yesterday that is collapsible and fits in the diaper bag. Ellie's never used it and we've certainly never gone in a public restroom. Oh boy. They rush off to the bathroom. I wait anxiously for the news dreading the sense of defeat that can only come when a star on the rise suffers a terrible defeat (see: USA relay teams trying to hand off a baton.)

They emerge and Ellie spots me and runs over with a huge grin, 'Daddy, I peed in the potty!!!!' I throw her up in the air, kissing her on the way down with cheers and high fives. You did it, Ellie!!! You listened to your body and peed in the potty. Announcements come over the loudspeaker: Attention BJ's shoppers, Ellie Molloy has peed in the potty! The place erupts in an ecstasy of pride and joy. ( I tend to exaggerate.) Nevertheless, people around us must have thought we were crazy.


Our potty break in the parking lot (yes I had the camera!)
The tests came fast and furious after that though. Later we're leaving BJ's and as we approach a particularly long light, a tiny voice in the car seat in back says, 'Daddy, I have to potty.' Oh boy. "Hang on Ellie, as soon as we get though the light I'll pull over, can you hold it?" Oh boy. The light of course takes longer than ever and the other side has a left turn arrow of course, C'MON!!!!!! We pull into the vacant restaurant parking lot right on a major road and like a Chinese Synchronized Diving Team, Meredith and I are working in perfect harmony. We get Ellie over near a wall and within seconds she is peeing out in the middle of the wide open air without a misappropriated drop to be found! Of course, we do a HUGE potty parade on this one throughout the whole parking lot. Drivers staring at us be damned, we are potty parading like there's no tomorrow.

But wait, we're not done yet. For those of you still reading it actually gets more exciting. We stop at her favorite playground on the way home and she pees again. This is big because she actually stopped playing, communicated she had to go potty, and we ran like lightning to the public restroom and again, a perfect potty 10. We stayed at the playground for a really long time and ended up having a little BM accident, but in the grand scheme of things, we'll just gloss over that.
Ellie and Meredith with Ellie's Great-Grandmother (Nanny)
At home she goes two more times, but it was this last one that was the most exciting. Ellie had already eaten her dinner and so we let her go watch Wiggles while we ate our own. Silence from down stairs... I check on her. Everything is fine. As the meal wears on, silence still from below. The phone rings and Meredith needs to take it (it is Kristin returning her call) so I go downstairs to check on things. I get to the bottom of the stairs and ask her if she needs to go potty. Ellie casually tells me that she went to the potty, and points it out to me. And she has, in fact, used the potty. Completely and totally on her own. Neither of us there to ask her if she needs to go, neither of us there to help her get her undies down, neither of us there to help her on her seat or hold her hand as she goes (she likes to hold hands while she goes and frankly, wouldn't you?). She went to the potty and was pulling her undies up all by herself. My little girl was taking care of business. And this is one of the best days of my life.