Week 8 - The Best Week EVER!

Where to begin, where to begin? So, this was simply the best week ever... so far. I know that is saying a lot but it's not hyperbole. Earlier in the week, Meredith and I were discussing what our next blog entry would be and then Tuesday night happened. I had worked two particularly long days on Monday and Tuesday and was just unable to take my regular nine to midnight shift and let Meredith go to bed. Instead, Meredith, goddess she is, let me off the hook and go to bed around 10. She then stayed up with the baby until the midnight feeding. I allowed guilt to consume me for the time it took me to brush my teeth, then I was out. Little did either of us know then that the most exciting event to date in Ellie's life was about to occur -

Two words: Six hours.

That's right, our little sweet pea blew right on past the four hour mark, right on past the five hour mark and slept for SIX HOURS! I don't really know if I can explain how exciting this was. And if you think I was happy, the only reason I'm writing this week is because Meredith is still bouncing off the walls.

At this point you may be saying to yourself, 'okay, that's great, but I hardly think it is worthy of best week ever status.' And you'd be right, however, I have not told you about Wednesday night yet. On Wednesday night, Oma and Opa Wolfe were up and took Ellie to let us get a few extra winks together. Unfortunately, Ellie was only able to last two or two and a half hours before Oma brought her up to Meredith for a feeding. Mer fed her and Elise went to bed and slept for five hours... this is nice and has become pretty standard (she sleeps for 4-5 hours overnight.) However, rather than going back to sleep for a simple three more hours, she slept for FOUR MORE HOURS! Meredith got a total (although interrupted) nine hours of sleep.

I know you're saying to yourselves... with so much sleep what did you do with yourselves. But wait... do you know what happened on Thursday night? Go ahead guess. SEVEN HOURS!!!!!!!
Let me shout it from the rooftops... SEVEN HOURS! MY BABY SLEPT FROM 12:30 AM - until 7:30 AM! HALLELUJAH! Birds were singing, the sun was shining and Meredith woke up, looked at me and she was actually giddy with glee. Have you ever seen a new mother giddy with glee? It's really cool.

We know that this could change at any moment and are not taking anything for granted. And it might have something to do with her reaching the two month mark on Friday, or maybe it's the change in Mer's diet (see previous entry) or maybe it's just dumb luck. But the fact is, when we had reached our most tired, my most exhausted, Mother Nature comes through and Ol' Blueberry Eyes (I'll explain this later) sleeps for six and seven hours. We can function on that kind of sleep and as the real bonus, my soul mate, the woman who gives literally everything of herself everyday to this little creature, who has been nurturing not just this little life, but also her cranky husband was given this gift of continuous sleep. So you see... for everyone involved this was the BEST WEEK EVER!



By the way, the Ol' Blueberry Eyes thing... Ellie is my little blueberry. Strange nickname - I know, but the other morning, Meredith and I were eating breakfast and munching on some blueberries. I picked one up while I was holding Ellie I noticed, her eyes are exactly the color of blueberries. I never said it was a creative nickname... but its been sticking.




Now, it's not all good. despite all the good stuff, Ellie has developed cradle cap. Basically, the eczema that she had on other parts of her body have cleared up, and unfortunately moved to her scalp. Frankly if that is the worst thing we have to deal with, I'll take it. She's not nearly as fussy as she was and she's smiling a ton more, so if we have to trade off, then everything is okay.

Lastly, this week also brought us, Aunt Amy and Uncle Lief from San Diego. It was so good to see them. They of course fell immediately in love with her and she is going to form a very special bond with them. Amy took more pictures in two days than we have in two months. It was great seeing them and we look forward to them moving back east as soon as they can.

That's it. I'm hoping that next week can also be titled, the best week ever... but with Ellie in our lives, how could it not.
((group moan))


This post is dedicated to our little sweet cat, Gigi who died last Thursday. She was old and after we had resuced her we tried to give her a more comfortable life. She went peacefully and I think that is all any of us could want.

Week 7 - Don't Have a Cow!

As reported last week, our little angel has developed a serious case of eczema and the pediatrician gave us all sorts of ideas of how to soothe it: ultra senstitive bath wash (use your hand to wash not a wash cloth); apply a special cream three times a day (special cream = expensive and messy and daughter screams when it is applied); use special detergent (on her clothes, our clothes, her bedding, blankets...basically anything she will ever touch - as mentioned before crazy expensive).

All of these things have helped, and her skin looks better than it has in weeks. However, while it's not bumpy and dry anymore, she still has a slight rash on her chest, neck, face and back. Thus the issue becomes not just soothing the eczema but stopping it at the source. And apparently our laundry detergent and bath wash are not the only culprits.

I have tried for weeks to think of something else it might be, but the symptoms are all there: Ellie is extremely gassy, has explosive green poos (gross but true!), is fussy a lot (she is itchy and gassy! I would cry too!), has a stuffy nose, and has a rash and eczema. Yes, we believe Ellie has all of the symptoms of a milk allergy.

Thus the decision was made this week that I would take the plunge and purge all dairy from my diet. So, I had a big cup of ice cream as my last hurrah and went for it. We bought a big tub of non-dairy "buttery spread" and a box of rice milk and I swore off all of my favorites - pizza, yogurt, cottage cheese...all gone! Babies who are allergic to dairy are also often allergic to soy, so as a precaution, I cut that out as well. And it seems as though soy sneaks up on you in just about everything. I also cut out all things spicy and tomatoes because of the acid. Since she was born, I have been avoiding broccoli, cauliflower, onions, cabbage, chocolate, peanuts, and alcohol. So I am basically eating a lot of nothing these days.

This is not a complaint - I would seriously eat nothing but saltines 24/7 for the rest of my life if it made Elise feel better. And it's a trial. I will eliminate everything potentially offensive from my diet for two weeks, then slowly introduce things back one at a time to find the offending source (if there is even one at all!)

I have to say that I love breastfeeding and I am extremely happy that I decided to do it and that I was able to. I will continue to breastfeed this baby for as long as possible and any subsequent children will also be breastfed. However, I do wish that the books and Le Leche people woundn't try to make breastfeeding seem like it's the magic pill that makes babies and your life perfect. Yes, breastmilk is wonderful for your baby, but it does not ensure that your baby will never have any ailments. I think I am going to write a book called "The Lies They Tell About Breastfeeding."

This is what all the books and magazines say about breastfeeding:
Breastfed Babies are less likely to:
1. "suffer from gas and excessive spit up". Elise is the gassiest child on the planet. Seriously she is burping or passing gas constantly. And she spits up a lot too.
2. "get childhood asthma and eczema." Eczema, check. She doesn't have asthma yet, but she's only seven weeks old, so give it time.
3. "have allergies." If the dairy elimination works, we know that's a joke!
4. "have diaper rash." Ellie got diaper rash at three weeks. And then was allergic to the diaper rash cream. No joke.
5. "have diarrea." Not the case for our little one! She is the queen!

So basically yes, breastfeeding has tons and tons of pros (it's free! it's convenient! it's healthy! it's natural! it's conforting to baby!) but it doesn't mean that your child will sit around in perfect health, smiling and cooing about how great breastmilk is.

Anyway, I will come down off of my soapbox and say that I just finished day four of no dairy and so far so good. It hasn't been as hard as I thought to avoid all of those things and Ellie seems less gassy and generally happier. Only time will tell if it's real or just a fluke!

Week 6 - Little Miss Cranky Pants

This week we began to refer to Ellie as 'Little Miss Cranky Pants.' Now I know you're saying to yourself, "How can she be a little miss cranky pants when she doesn't even wear pants?!?" Well, I'll tell you.

Elise has been sleeping for five hours at a stretch overnight from 12 AM - 5 or 1 AM - 6 and it was great for everyone, especially Meredith. Early this week, however, two nights in a row she reverted back to the three hour restless sleep. Tuesday night was particularly difficult one for Momma and Elise,

as they were awake in the middle of the night for almost two hours. Ellie was just uncomfortable and cranky. This spilled over into the days too. Meredith and I noticed that her fussiness was really gaining momentum and that she was unhappy more than usual. There were two basic states for Ellie... sleep or crank.

Now on Wednesday it reached the zenith of cranky... Tuesday was a difficult night and Ellie just wasn't herself... so Meredith made the first ever unscheduled trip to the doctor and we learned that our little piece of perfection has eczema and no way to scratch her little itches. Thus her not-as-happy mood was explained. The doctor explained that Ellie has particularly sensitive skin and will be prone to rashes and allergies, so we will need tobe careful about what we put on her and feed her for her first year.

Can you imagine...the two of us having a fair-haired, fair-skinned child with sensitive skin? Oh, who are we kidding - we are just lucky she isn't allergic to the sun, albino or see-thru! So we got this moisturizing stuff along with some cortizone that you mix with it and WOW! We began to see a difference almost immediately. And while Daddy and Elise had a really, really really really hard Wednesday night (Ellie cried for about 2 hours straight) she did end up sleeping five hours Wednesday and Thursday and has been way less cranky during the day. So we'll see how she does tonight.

We're going to continue to put the medicine on her for the time being... Oh and I almost forgot. We had to buy this special baby detergent, Dreft, to wash all of her clothes, bedding and our clothes (pretty much anything her skin will come in contact with). It's for the most sensitive baby skin. For those of you that don't know, Dreft is roughly $900 per ounce. So, my precious little girl already has very expensive tastes... I'm not sure I like this trend.

It should be mentioned that we have not completely forgotten about our original little baby... our kitty Ridley. He especially deserves recognition because he's been such a good cat since we've had Ellie. So in addition to some new pictures of Elise, we've thrown one up there of ol' Riddle.

Week 5 - the Worrier's husband or The POWER!

By way of addendum to Meredith's last post, "The Worrier" and to give a slightly different perspective...

1. Moms, in general, worry more. They just do, and especially at this time of life, becasue as she said, she's home all the time with Elise while I'm at work. All she has to do is obsess. I think this is perfectly normal and in fact the way it should be. Nature makes us overly cautious and worried so that we don't miss anything. Since we have no clue what we're doing - we worry, we read, which always makes it worse, then we wait. Ususally what we're worrying about subsides and we feel better. Except that we're worrying about the next thing.
2. Worrying is fine as well except when I invariably buy into Meredith's neurosis. Let's say she's worried about something... She'll try to convince me and I'll talk her through it, or rationize why it's nothing to worry about. Then I'll sit and think... or have Ellie alone and think, 'maybe meredith's right and what if...' then it's all over. I've bought in and our child is brain damaged or in some way irrevicably altered in some horrible fashion.
3. The POWER >>> It's the antidote to worrying. Ellie was fussing in her cradle and every time we put hr down she fussed more. Finally, instead of picking her up, calming her and putting her down, Meredith just gently placed her hand on Ellie and she immediately quieted. No, not just quieted, she became serene. It can only be described as the power. Meredith, despite all her worrying, has the power to make everything okay. Mother Nature saw fit to grant this to dads only in time of extreme rarity, for she knew we would abuse our power, but mothers have it in abundance. I think I remeber this power as a child myself in the form of a kiss on the boo-boo. My mom would kiss the boo-boo and all the pain would go away.

If only all the new mothers of the world could get together and use this astonishing power collectively to heal the world.

So for all the worring... for all the apprehension and fears, there is THE POWER.

Week 5 - The Worrier

I was a long time card-carrying Worrier long before I was a parent. Yes, I have always been one of those people that worries obsessively over things and gets all worked up. Marty is ten minutes late coming home from work? What if he was in a car accident and is in some ditch right now?! My boss needs to see me? What if i get fired?! How will we afford our mortgage?! My friend hasn't returned my phone call? She must be mad at me! What did I do?!

Yes, I am a classic Worrier and I recognize that most of what I worry about is completely ridiculous. However, being a Worrier and a Parent is a very dangerous combination - and it takes Worry to a completely different level. There are a million things to worry about when you are responsible for another human life, especially when you are a first time parent and have no idea what you are doing. It's so easy to worry, in fact, that I have even sucked Marty (a Non-Worrier) into my Web of Worry!

There are the normal worries, like the classic "Is she breathing?" There is so much propaganda about SIDS these days that there is no way anyone couldn't worry about this. Then there is the "Is she getting enough food?" worry, a common worry for a nursing mother, as you can't see or measure how much your child is consuming and therefore must you become overly obsessed and attentive to her bodily functions. (Should her poop be that color?!)

Then we bring our parenting skills into question, because, as I mentioned, this parenting thing is a combination of what we've been told, what we've read and just plain guess work. Why is she crying? Does she cry too much? Why hasn't she cried recently? Is she sleeping too much? Why isn't she sleeping? Is she eating too often? Why hasn't she eaten lately? Are we spoiling her by picking her up too much? Are we not being attentive enough to her needs? Do we let her sleep in our arms too often? And on and on....

Frankly, I think that it's easy to become an obsessive Worrier when you are focusing 100% of your attention, 24/7, on your infant (especially when you are awake so many hours of the day!). Really, what else is there to do? Before she starts really interacting and communicating you can only guess what is going on, why she does what she does, and hope that the things that you are doing aren't going to send her into therapy later in life. Babies and so fragile and helpless and they need their parents to be their everything..and that's an awesome responsiblity. But deep down I do know that it is a responsibility Marty and I were ready for. The reality check is that there a plenty of parents who are terrible and neglectful or just don't care...and most kids turn out ok despite this, so our kid should be in the clear. I think we can (and will) do a good job raising Elise. I know that there will be a million things for me to worry about as Ellie grows up, (She's going to drive one day! And date!) so I guess I'd better learn to relax a little, and just enjoy the ride...