Week 13 - Magical Three Month Marker?

We have been hearing about this "Magical Three Month Marker" ever since we found out we were going to be parents last November. It is mind boggling to comprehend all of the fabulous things that supposedly happen to your child around three months of age. It's as though every problem they ever had just melts away. Friends with children said things like "the first three months are really hard", the pediatrician said excessive "gassiness should go away around three months", everyone says "babies smile and are so much happier around three months". The What to Expect The First Year calls 3-6 months of age the "Golden Age" of childhood. People claim their children start sleeping through the night consistantly around three months. The raves go on and on.

As you can imagine, we have been waiting for this Magical Three Month Marker with baited breath. It's not that the first three months have been bad. Just the opposite in fact - we have enjoyed the newborn phase so much it has actually made us want to have MORE children, not fewer. Sure we've had some challenges along the way, but all and all, Ellie sleeps like a champ, smiles and coos until our hearts melt and is generally the sweetest most adorable child ever. We have loved having an infant!

And yet, as time goes on, you can't help but wonder what things will be like when things supposedly get REALLY good. We began to catch glimpses of the magical time around 11 weeks. Suddenly, Ellie was spending a lot less time crying and a lot more time smiling. She was able to entertain herself on the playmat or in the swing for more than five minutes at a time. She sat contently on our laps without whinning to be bounced or rocked. We took her to the grocery store when she was awake and she didn't cry - not even once. Could this be the beginning of the Golden Era we've heard so much about?

This week, I caught myself trying to remember the last time I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed her. She has been consistantly sleeping for 6-9 hours straight for at least two weeks. In fact, on Thursday night she slept for a record shattering 11 1/2 hours! (it just keeps getting better, knock on wood!!) I guess it's not like your child wakes up on her 3 month birthday a more pleasant, fabulous baby. Things change so subtly, so gradually that you find yourself thinking "she never would have done this just a few weeks ago."

Of course just when things start getting REALLY good, playtime is over. Yes, unfortunately Meredith goes back to work full time next week. So this week, we began preparations for the big day (next Tuesday). First off, she went through a "trial run" to the office while her parents were here on Monday. We got up at 6am, got ready, woke and fed the baby and went to work. She only stayed there for four hours, but it felt like forever and missed her like crazy. How will it be when she has to manage for 8-9 hours?!

Secondly, Meredith plans to continue to nurse in the morning and at night and pump during the day, but there is only so much pumping you can do when you're at the office trying to get work done. Therefore, we decided to introduce formula to get her used to it in case I can't pump enough for the three feedings she'll have while she's at work. This decision however was not made with Ellie's consent and despite the expensive tastes she continually forces upon us (Ellie cannot eat the reagular formula made from Milk or Soy - see previous entries) she HATES formula. Daddy suggested depriving her of feedings for several hours and that she will eventually be so hungry she'll eat anything. The benevolent wife will not go for this at all. So we (meaning Meredith since she has to feed and pump like a champ) must soldier on with a stiff upper lip and both with a stiff upper back carrying our picky angel to and fro.

Thirdly and lastly, the daycare situation. We feel lucky to have found a daycare that we like, trust and can afford. Not to mention, we are fortunate to only need to these services three days a week (Meredith is working from home one day, and Oma and Opa are babysitting one day). Unfortunately, we have do-gooder jobs and neither of us make enough to stay at home. So, Mer did a daycare test run on Thursday to see how things would go. At first they went delightfully. Ellie was cute as a button and smiling and charming. Then, one of the only workers they have that is full time and guaranteed to be there when Ellie is, held her. Ellie immediately became unhappy and started to cry out loud while Momma was crying on the inside. Another woman took her and eventually calmed her down a bit, but Ms. Crankypants emerged and with no plans to 'un-crank' herself until Momma and she returned home. By the way, on the ride home Momma let it out and joined Elllie with crying out loud.

Daycare is such a mixed blessing. There are some aspects that I like over getting a nanny. For instance, by the time Ellie is old enough to go to school, she will have had contact with every germ and microbe known to man. Remember, that which does not make us sick, only makes us stronger... except, we expect that it will make us all sick, but we will all get stronger in the process. (character builing, right mom?) Also, god forbid the daycare has hired someone not so nice, there are always several other people around at all times and parents walking in constantly that I actually feel Ellie will be safer than if we left her with only one person. Nevertheless, when I returned to work, I was leaving my daughter in the caring arms of my partner, confidant and best friend. Now that Meredith is returning to work, she is leaving the most precious piece of our family in the care of total strangers. Hopefully they will not be strangers for long, as Meredith and I both plan on getting highly involved with the daycare and it's board of directors - after all, we know a little something about non profits. (see earning nothing segment above).
Side note: we went to the daycare's last board meeting/parents meeting the week before last and it was nice to see a number of newborns will be joining Ellie in October. As we went around the room introducing ourselves, the minute Meredith said that she was the Development Director for YouthBuild, the board members actually began salivating. Seriously, there was drool on the ground at their feet. Granted it could have been from the babies, but I think it was the parents.

Anyway, overall things are great. And when the worst thing you have to complain about is the fact that you have to put your child in a safe clean small daycare with people who seem caring and we have to go back to jobs we love and our baby can't take milk yet - I'd say it's pretty good, wouldn't you?

Week 12 - Life's a Beach and Then You Cry

Our little baby had quite an exciting week! We start wiyh her first trip to another state (unfortunately the first state we took her to was New Jersey! What were we thinking?!) and her first beach adventure. For a girl who hates cars, I have to say that Ellie was the perfect little angel. She slept in the car the whole 2 hour ride there (after JUST waking up from a 3 hour nap too!) and was also an angel while we were there. She loved the ocean breeze and the boardwalk. Wasn't as crazy about the ocean water (yes, Marty put her feet in) and I think that the sound of the waves crashing was too loud for her little ears because she didn't seem to like being so close to the water either, but generally she liked beach life.

Her night away from home was great - she slept in the pack n play (thanks MWC girls!) just great and had a 7 hour night, even in the strange environment. She showed off for our friend Laura by rolling over from her back to her stomach several times, which is now her new favorite trick. However, she hates being on her stomach, so once she rolls over she gets really mad! But she's also learning to put her arms up and push herself up a little bit and is raising her head pretty high. (our little baby is growing up!) She slept well on the ride home too - even though Marty was banging on the steering wheel while listening to the Eagles game - which gives us great hope about our future travels. (In my defense, e were driving during their fourth qtr. collapse against the stinkin' Giants.)

Sunday night was a big night too...we moved her out of our bedroom into the nursery! (our little baby is growing up!) She didn't sleep as well that first night, but has been steadily improving as she's getting used to her new surroundings. We also had to move her to her crib because she's outgrown her cradle (yes, again our little baby is growing up!)

On Wednesday, Ellie had her 2 month well baby check up (we are running a little behind) and her doctor sung her praises. She is a very strong baby! She is almost 11 pounds now and 23 inches long -70th percentile for height and 28th percentile for weight (our little baby is growing up!). Then came the most traumatic thing Marty and I have experienced...vaccinations! Marty held her hand while she got the 5 shots and I sat on the other side of the room and then swooped in with the comfort when it was over. Marty says that I want her to associate the pain with him and the comfort with me, and well, he's right! She SCREAMED like I have never heard before when she was shot and then cried for quite a while. One thing that I was not prepared for was the BLOOD pouring all over her legs! There is seriously nothing worse that seeing your infants blood.

All and all though, she did really well with the shots. The only reaction she had was some redness and swelling on one leg but that went away within a day. Now she just has a bruise on her leg but never got a fever or any other problems. She was actually in the best spirits ever the day after the vaccinations.
Note from Marty: I would like to address the fact that I had no idea of Meredith's alterior motives in the doctor's office. Both Meredith and I were worried about how Ellie would do with the shots and agreed it would be best if I held her. As Daddy held baby's hands and consoled her while she was getting all the shots and crying. Come to find out that it was all so Mer wouldn't be associated with the pain. Do you all see where this leads many years from now ?

I realize that Ellie won't remember any of this, but medical science is confirming more and more that the hardwiring we get as infants stays with us and I'm sure from now on, I'm going to be the one associated with pain. If only I could be there for the vaccinations and shots of all her future boyfriends...

Week 11 - My, How Times Have Changed

We have come to realize that you can never prepare yourself for how becoming a parent changes your life. You know things are going to be different - your priorities, your social life, your sleeping pattern...but you until you are actually doing it, I don't think you can fully understand what it is going to be like.

BE, (Before Ellie) we were incredibly social creatures. Every single weekend we jam-packed all sorts of events: happy hours, weddings, baby showers, parties, movies, dinner with friends, family gatherings - we were always, always on the go. We planned things for every hour of the weekend, often traveling to Maryland, New York..even California. You needed an hour by hour calendar, a stop watch and a map to figure out our complex schedule.

Boy, have things changed! Last Friday, Marty said "what are we going to do this weekend?" Our calendar (as it has been for the last 11 weeks) was again completely empty. After some brief discussion about a trip to the grocery store and maybe a walk around the block, we realized that we were going to do the same thing we do every night - care for our baby and go no where.

It's not as though we expected to be party hopping with our infant as though everything was the same as it was BE, but I don't think we realized the total crippling effect it would have on our social life. There is only so far you can venture out with a baby that needs to eat every three hours and hates the car. On second thought though, perhaps it is a good thing that we don't go out as much. As an example of another thing that has changed about our life AE (After Ellie), our conversations these days largely revolve around number of hours that the baby slept, the color/amount of poop that she produced and dissecting what I ate in the last 2-6 hours that could have given her such horrible gas. Not exactly awesome cocktail conversation.

Yesterday, a rainy miserable day, I stopped at a traffic light on my way to Grandmom and Grandpa's (Marty's parents) house with Ellie when we were rear-ended. (As you may or may not know, this is the FIFTH time that someone has crashed into this car since we got it in February 2005 - I am beginning to think this car is cursed. Or that Pennsylvania drivers really suck. Or that we should recommend that the US government use Honda Accords instead of Hummers in Iraq). My first thought was not "I can't BELIEVE someone just hit this car again” it was “If my baby is hurt, I am going to strangle that man to death on the side of the road and delight in watching cars and pedestrians run over his cold dead body over and over again.” Extreme? I think not! Luckily, there was no damage to my baby (or my car) so there was no need for murder, but the idea of someone hurting our little innocent baby seriously shook me up.

So, anyway this weekend (unlike all of the other weekends since Ellie was born) our little family is venturing out into the world! Yes, we are headed to the Jersey Shore - I never said we were venturing out to someplace exciting or clean – for the weekend. (Marty would like to protest that last statement… especially the exciting part.) We would like to thank our friend Laura for inviting us (she doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into) to hang out with her at her beach house. We could not be more excited about our first real trip. We will let you know how it goes!

One last thing…on Wednesday night Ellie performed a minor miracle (Extreme? I think not!). Our little angel slept for NINE hours straight. And she could have possibly slept longer had I not leapt out of bed at 7:30am to make sure that she was still breathing, but we think that nine hours is pretty amazing. See, these are the things that make us giddy these days. Yes, the times, they are a changin’.

Week 10 - The First Posession & Other Recognizable Things

Each week our little American baby becomes more engaged, more alert, more fun and more possessive. The right to private property may be the single most important aspect to our American society and so you can understand my joy when my infant daughter showed the first signs of caring for a possession. Affie, the giraffe hand puppet, has quickly become one of her favorite things in the world. She clings to it, sucks on his paws and ears and generally coos when he's hanging out with her. Mind you, there are few things (not including rocking or bouncing) that calm our child when she is crying/screaming. We all love Affie for his powers. Meredith pointed out to me that she clings to cloth diapers and that these too calm her. But honestly, can we count a diaper as a possession? Thus, Affie is our man, er, her man, er Giraffe.

Other possessions our little angel loves include us, her momma and daddy. No, seriously, this week it really seems that she recognizes us as more than just the people who a) feed her or b) bring her to the person who feeds her. Quick Story: Every morning, after Ellie is awake, changed and fed and Daddy has said his goodbyes for the morning, she is placed in her crib so she can say good morning to all of her hanging critters on the jungle mobile - and usually, Meredith is able to get a few things done (like shower!). However, one day this week, Elise was in no mood to say good morning to her jungle friends. Meredith laid her down and went to wash her face, but Ellie was in full eyes-shut-tight-red-faced-fuss mode. Meredith did not pick her up, just watched her for a second, and when Ellie opened her eyes, saw her mom looking down at her and immediately stopped fussing and smiled. She just wanted one of her favorite things - her momma.
Recognizing things is just part of what is going on in her little mind right now. It's amazing how many small things change with her every single day. We have spent the past ten weeks getting to know her likes and dislikes - the way she likes to be held, the toys she likes to play with, the things she likes to look at, etc.. We spend time playing with target panda (need to see it to explain), playing "bouncy-bouncy", and holding her over our shoulders like a sack of potatoes...but then just as we get used to doing something... then she changes, and we have to adapt. The changes don't tend to be major. In fact, if we weren't taking a minute by minute approach to her life we'd probably never notice, but we're so lucky to be able to take that minute by minute approach. It's amazing how quickly she is growing up and we are fascinated by the small changes that happen each day. She is holding her head up more, prefers to be held so that she can see what's going on, follows you with her eyes, smiles a lot, coos like she's trying to have a conversation and those sorts of things. She even giggled for the first time the other day! Sure, they are easy things for us, but these are major milestones for our little baby!

As the biggest sign that she is growing and changing, Meredith put away the first batch of baby clothes that she has outgrown this week. Yes, Ellie is now too big for her Newborn (5-8.5 pound) clothes, and is even too long for some of her 0-3 month sleepers already. It's a little sad to put those things away - it's like closing the first chapter of her infancy. But we continue to be thrilled and excited by all of the changes and all of the other milestones, big and small, to come.

Week 9 - The Personality

So far, we've been writing a week by week description of what has been going on in our lives. So, this blog will be devoted a little bit to the bigger picture of our nine week old blueberry.

Ellie loves the scary bears. The scary bears is a bear moblie that has three little bears that circle her changing table when we are changing her diaper. Oma named them the scary bears, but fact is they are not that scary... except they do look like they're being hung by the neck. So, it might be that she likes the bears or Ellie may be a believer in capital punishment - only time will tell.

Ellie LOVES the outside. When she is crying, we take her outside and she immediately stops. Seriously, we don't know if it's the warm breezes that blow through the treezes, or the noise from the street and mother nature, or just that she loves being outside, but Ellie is always happiest when she is freed from the stuffy confines of our home. This may not bode well for our future sanity.

Ellie is a fiesty, firey little redhead with an Irish temper. This needs to be explained. Ellie falls into what the books and clinicians categorize, "an active baby". This basically means that when she's awake, she is always on the move - she pretty much always has to be moving and preferrably bouncing. Ellie loves to bounce and if you are not standing with her and in motion - that is when the fiesty, firey Irish temper comes out. Oh and she doesn't stop crying when you start moving again, if she's going to give you the business, she's going to punish you for ever having stopped being in motion in the first place. Only when she feels as though you have redeemed your stagnant ways will she once again smile and coo in delight. And lest relatives and friends think they are immune from the constant bouncing motion junkie - she is indiscriminant. She has encouraged her aunts and uncles to join gyms before their next visits. Even when she's not being held, her little body is in constant motion... swinging her arms around, kicking her legs, rolling from side-to-side (although not rolling over quite yet)... she is always on the move. (Meredith would like me to point out that she was like this in the womb as well and that the stomach bruises are just now starting to heal.) Thus, "an active baby."

She is sooooooo strong. From birth we knew our baby had freakish strength, because she always had great neck and head strength, but Ellie can also stand already. Sort of. When she's really mad (see reference above) and you put her on your lap, she can support herself... it's the most amazing thing. So, we don't mind Ellie being mad, 'cause we kind of get a show with it. Strong, and cute. As any of you can see from the pictures, she's pretty much the cutest baby around (that's objective of course) and when she's mad, she's really cute too.

Ellie loves the bath. She loves the water, she loves getting naked (again bad for our sanity later, I fear) and she loves getting clean. Ellie HATES getting out of the bath. She hates putting clothes on and getting lotion lathered on her super-sensitive skin.

Ellie hates the car... it's like 'YEAH, I'm going outside... no, no, why are you putting me into a smaller version of our stuffy house?!?" She throws-up every time we go somewhere. Her mom still can't ride backwards on trains, so maybe there is not much hope for her. But, maybe when she gets bigger, she'll like roadtrips better.

Ellie loves mornings. Frankly, we have absolutely no idea where this comes from. I mean it's not from either of her grandparents, aunts, uncles or other relatives that we know of. But... when she wakes up in the morning, she is a smiley, happy, fun baby. She will go from her cradle to her crib with a jungle mobile and say good morning to all her animal friends above (different form the scary bears, but also look like they are hung) and her buddies on the crib bumper. And she coos, and smiles and greets the day with such joy that even her sleep deprived, momma and daddy love mornings now too. Whoever said that a baby changes you wasn't kidding!

There is so much already to this tiny little girl who has just started to figure things out. We can't wait to see what she'll start to love and hate in the coming weeks.