Week 4 - Going Back to Work, two perspectives

This week, Daddy returned to work. This made no one happy except...work. While Marty and Meredith found that they both hated Marty's departure back into the 'real world' - there are two distinct perspectives on why this sucked.

Marty aka Daddy:
Frankly speaking, it was nice. (at first.) The visits into work a couple of days for meetings and congratulations had lead to the triumphant return of the new and improved Marty... the mature Marty, the man who now commands deeper respect from friends and foes alike, because he has created Life!!! I opened the door to my sweet smelling super clean office where I found that my friend Edward, expecting my return, had cleaned especially for me. I sat down and having conscientiously scanned my work email from home knew I had nothing too pressing. I set to work on my "to do" list to restart everything. Then... all the people whom I serve regularly and love, came to say hello. One by one... by one... by two, by one. I got nothing done that first day. I missed Elise terribly by lunchtime and having done as much as my limited concentration would allow, I raced home to find that Elise had grown, she was walking and talking and had completely forgotten who I was. Okay, so none of that happened... but it continues to be my deepest fear. Remember that song by Cat Stevens, "Cats in the Cradle"... ugh.
Night one without grand-parental assistance went okay enough...I watched Elise who slept and cried and fussed and was general cute. I got to sleep by 1 or so and got plenty of sleep. Thanks Momma.

Day two was wholly different. Having regaled people with my modesty towards my perfect baby who walks on water... I knew I would be able to sink into a lot of work. However, I found out that a dear friend, a colleague someone I cared about deeply had died that morning of his own stupidity. I miss him very much as I write this. Needless to say, his death overshadowed everything else in the day except that my best friend in the world, someone I consider a brother, left for Japan for a year. So, exhausted and finally returning home after saying goodbye to two important people (one permanently) I held Elise close to me. Momma went to sleep around 11:45 AM and Elise and I had five good minutes together before her hunger pains and the events of the day led me to hand her off to Momma.
Now, here's the crappy thing about all that... guilt! I knew Meredith was exhausted by watching Elise while I was at work, fixing the flat tire (sorry I forgot to mention that happened too) and traveling out to see our friend off. But, Guilt did not stop me from being asleep again around 1.

Day Three --- today... work got done. Concentration was better. Elise still grew, even if a little, without me and I missed it. I suppose I should get used to it though, it's not like that is changing anytime soon. It's funny, this was one of the saddest weeks of my life, with some real frustrations, losses and major sadness, but I'm okay. I'm better than okay, I am good. Just coming home to Elise, even if she is crying or fussing (which she was not - she was in super-cool-awake-mode) makes all the other stuff that would have been overwhelming a bit seem manageable.
Things still kind of sucked, but she's too important to let it get me down for too long.


Meredith aka Momma:
Sure, I have been entrusted with caring for Elise by myself plenty of times. There were several days over the past four weeks that Marty went into work for a few hours for a meeting, ran to the store for errands or went on a 68 mile bike ride. But, I came to realize this week, Marty going back to work full time is another thing entirely. I did not realize the luxury it was to be able to "tag team" with Elise - to be able to pass her to another person for a few minutes to give arms (and ears) a break. To have someone else in the house to talk to that actually talks back! To be able to take a shower!

The hardest part about Marty going back to work has not just been that there is no tag team all day while he's is at work. It's that Marty needs to be able to get enough sleep to be able to function while he's at work, therefore there is also no more tag team at night. Holy sleep deprivation! I must say I have a whole new respect for single parents. Talk about exhausting!

But of course, with all that exhaustion also comes tons of joy. It's amazing how quickly time passes when you are starring adoringly at your beautiful baby. I love being able to spend so much time with my adorable daughter, who makes me smile and laugh out loud countless times a day, and I wouldn't trade in all that quality time for the world. She makes a new face or a new noise and I am there to see it and enjoy it. I am starting to figure out the difference between her cries (hungry, tired, hot, wet diaper, bored), what she likes (going outside, bouncing) and doesn't like (getting her hair washed, having a dirty diaper) and all those little things in between. Each day we are figuring each other out a little more, and each day it gets a little easier. True, I still haven't quite figured out how to work in that shower, but I am sure that I'll figure it out eventually. Right?

Week 3 - Bigger, Stronger...Sleepier?

Well, the three of us survived the first three weeks and are heading into week four already! Boy does time fly. We took Elise to the pediatrician on Tuesday and received confirmation that she is in fact bigger and stronger (and more adorable) than she was after leaving the hospital. She is now 7 pounds 12 ounces (almost a pound heavier) and has grown to 21 1/2 inches long (an inch taller). She is in the 70th percentile for height and the 25th percentile for weight (meaning she is tall and skinny).

It's amazing to realize all the ways that she has changed in these first three weeks. Ellie is eating more at each feeding and eating less frequently (hurray!). She sleeping (usually) for 4 hour stretches at a time at night (unhappy hour was thankfully not longer than an hour this week). She is holding her head up with amazing strength and when she's angry, she pushes her legs with such force you think she's going to walk right up your chest. She focuses on things for a longer period, is amazed by her bear mobile and stays awake (and not crying) for longer periods of time. The most exciting thing (for Mom!) was that she had her first successful bottle feeding last night giving her Mommy a lovely 5+ hour sleep (although pumping has proved to be quite a challenge in itself) and took to the bottle like a pro.

We are so excited and proud of every little tiny change that happens and milestone she reaches, but it also makes us realize how limited the time is when she will be in this stage. So, we are trying to enjoy and capture every nuance we can while we can. She is our beautiful little angel and we could not be happier parents.

Week 2 - I Love Naps! I Hate Crying!

I think, by far, my favorite thing about this whole parenting thing is naps. Don't get me wrong, to take a proper nap it belies the lack of sleep we are getting -- but thie brightside of the situation is napping. There is nothing like the feeling of Ellie on your chest, rhythmically breathing & lulling you and she into a perfect two hour sleep where you both wake refreshed and a little sad that that moment has passed. I know I only have a few precious naps like the ones I'm getting now, where my hand can literally be her blanket and I wake a few moments before she does and I get to enjoy a perfect moment of peace with her. I think we get moments like that to compensate for the unhappy hour that usually precedes the nap.

Don't know what the unhappy hour is? I get the line from the 'Handbook' aka the Holy Bible of Parenting that talks about the end of day overload. Ellie has seen enough... she has heard enough and now, she must reboot her nervous system so that she does not explode. God, in her infinite wisdom, saw fit to have crying be the mechanism for this restart -- frankly it sucks.

Here's the basic pattern so far in our lives including the unhappy hour... Ellie wakes up - for this week it's been between 5-8 AM (not bad you say). She eats (thank you Momma) and she either hangs out acting awake and cute, or cries. Actually, it's a combination of both but it's not too bad. Then she eats...and takes a nap until the middle of the day. Then the rest of the day is a combination of keeping her happy, watching her sleep, eating, changing diapers, etc. Now round about 8 or 9 PM- Momma feeds the beast... Momma heads off for some MUCH NEEDED SLEEP and the beast sleeps for 15 minutes, then...awakens. The baby is unhappy and there is nothing and I mean NOTHING our favorite Daddy can do. He does bouncy-bouncy, turny-turny, rocky-rocky, swingy-swingy - we take walks, we go outside, we try every position imaginable (including upside down) and the beast continues it's tirade! After an hour and a half, mercifully, she falls asleep. Daddy has no idea why... Daddy is just happy. Then its off to Momma for more milk and bedtime for everyone around 1 or 2. Fear makes us think that unhappy hour will begin again when she eats again... but then miraculously, she sleeps... for like four hours. It's Awesome!

Now starting here in week three - just last night really, she did unhappy hour for about three hours...what's up with that?!? Very uncool Elise. We'll have no more of that... please. I suppose she just could not get enough of Momma's milk. Hopefully, this was a one-time thing.

Okay onto the pics... what you all really came here for anyway.
More soon! The Molloy's

The Importance of Time

Before we were parents we did not have the proper appreciation for time. Not in the savor-every-moment kind of way - although that is true. More, it's been the little segments of time that must now be tracked. How long did she eat? When was the last time she ate? How long did she sleep? How long did we sleep?
15 minutes... 30 minutes... 10 minutes... it's amazing how fast your life flies when you're watching the clock. The morning runs into the afternoon and pretty soon you have no idea what day it is. And though you've only been tracking her food, sleep and waste, you realize that all the while she's growing up.

All the time, we have to stop and remind ourselves that these small chunks of time are going to grow into days, weeks and then years of daycare, vacations and school.

Time has now become our master and we are at its beck and call.
So the lesson is take as many pictures and mental notes as possible...

Week One: Now that wasn't so bad, was it?!?

Well, we've done it. The Molloy's have survived what everyone has built up to be this horrible, horendous thing... the first week. Apparently, Elise was supposed to be this awful screaming, out-of-sync baby where Momma and Daddy never got any sleep and where we genuinely were supposed to contemplate the "Cute Baby For Sale or OBO" post on Craigslist. Alas, we seemed to have dodged that bullet.
I think it was supposed to look something like this...

However, as it turns out, Momma and Daddy have with the help of Oma and Opa (Mer's parents aka 'our heroes') been able to get some sleep and try to get on somewhat of a routine. Even after they had gone back to MD., we were able to achieve our stated goal... KEEP BABY ALIVE!

Sure she's fussy, but it's usually around the things that make Daddy cranky too - hungry, tired, need to be changed... well, I've outgrown that last one, but you get the idea. For all you out there who think it will be hard, know that with the love and support of your family and friends anything can be handled.

We would like to especially thank our parents, Grandmom and Grandpa and the aforementioned Oma and Opa without whose constant support, this week would have been hell.

Anyway, Elise is happy and sleepy and really fun. Here are a few pics form the past week to prove it. Enjoy!!! And we'll be back with more installments daily or weekly, or whenever we're not staring at our greatest achievement to date.

Introducing... Elise!

It was a dark and stormy night... no, seriously, it was. Meredith, aka Momma, had been feeling what she thought were just cramps for a few hours and now, around 10:30 PM they began to intenisfy with a fervor. We realized at that moment that Holy Doodie! (censoring our speech now) those aren't just cramps - she was in labor! Between 10:30 and 12:30 AM, there was no mistaking that these "cramps" were full blown transition/active labor pains. There were other clues -- the vomiting, the intense heat radiating from her body, the 'don't touch me' and the tears. At 12:45, Marty, aka Daddy, got the go ahead to head into the hospital. As Momma was rolled into the delivery room, her water broke in the wheelchair. Both Momma and Daddy settled in for what they were sure was going to be a long battle and the midwife (Nicole) came in to examine her.

Sidenote: Nicole had been pretty lax on the phone when the panicky first-time Mom and Dad called at twelve-thirty asking if they could come in yet. She said they could come, but seemed to think it was still much too early. Upon the examination, she was astonished. Why, you ask? Because Momma who had only been in "real labor pain" for four hours (from 9:30 to now 1:30 AM) was fully dialated, the baby's head was crowning and she was ready to push!!!!! This lax midwife then exclaimed that, had we waited another 1/2 hour to come in to the hospital, this would have been a home birth. No doodie!

Needless to say Daddy was psyched and Momma, well, she asked, ever so sweetly, of the outgoing midwife... "Does that mean I can't have any drugs?" The answer was, sadly for Momma, silence. (No.) The Doctor, Miriam Harden prepared Momma to push. Everyone took up their positions... Nurse on the right holding her hand, midwife next to her holding her right leg, Dr. Harden down low, like Johnny Bench (as Cosby would say) and Daddy holding the left leg and helping Momma push with his other hand behind her neck. So without any drugs (not even a freakin Tylenol!), without any mental preparation for a June baby, without even a stinkin' IV or time to completely register into the hospital and with all in their positions, Momma pushed...and pushed...and pushed...and made the tiniest scream/moan and voila! At 2:12 AM on June 30, 2006, Elise Lawler Molloy was brought into this world at 6 lbs., 14 oz., 20 1/2 inches long, with bright blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair and two parents who were happier in that moment than they had ever been before. Momma was healthy... Ellie was healthy and Daddy was elated.