Week 4 - Going Back to Work, two perspectives

This week, Daddy returned to work. This made no one happy except...work. While Marty and Meredith found that they both hated Marty's departure back into the 'real world' - there are two distinct perspectives on why this sucked.

Marty aka Daddy:
Frankly speaking, it was nice. (at first.) The visits into work a couple of days for meetings and congratulations had lead to the triumphant return of the new and improved Marty... the mature Marty, the man who now commands deeper respect from friends and foes alike, because he has created Life!!! I opened the door to my sweet smelling super clean office where I found that my friend Edward, expecting my return, had cleaned especially for me. I sat down and having conscientiously scanned my work email from home knew I had nothing too pressing. I set to work on my "to do" list to restart everything. Then... all the people whom I serve regularly and love, came to say hello. One by one... by one... by two, by one. I got nothing done that first day. I missed Elise terribly by lunchtime and having done as much as my limited concentration would allow, I raced home to find that Elise had grown, she was walking and talking and had completely forgotten who I was. Okay, so none of that happened... but it continues to be my deepest fear. Remember that song by Cat Stevens, "Cats in the Cradle"... ugh.
Night one without grand-parental assistance went okay enough...I watched Elise who slept and cried and fussed and was general cute. I got to sleep by 1 or so and got plenty of sleep. Thanks Momma.

Day two was wholly different. Having regaled people with my modesty towards my perfect baby who walks on water... I knew I would be able to sink into a lot of work. However, I found out that a dear friend, a colleague someone I cared about deeply had died that morning of his own stupidity. I miss him very much as I write this. Needless to say, his death overshadowed everything else in the day except that my best friend in the world, someone I consider a brother, left for Japan for a year. So, exhausted and finally returning home after saying goodbye to two important people (one permanently) I held Elise close to me. Momma went to sleep around 11:45 AM and Elise and I had five good minutes together before her hunger pains and the events of the day led me to hand her off to Momma.
Now, here's the crappy thing about all that... guilt! I knew Meredith was exhausted by watching Elise while I was at work, fixing the flat tire (sorry I forgot to mention that happened too) and traveling out to see our friend off. But, Guilt did not stop me from being asleep again around 1.

Day Three --- today... work got done. Concentration was better. Elise still grew, even if a little, without me and I missed it. I suppose I should get used to it though, it's not like that is changing anytime soon. It's funny, this was one of the saddest weeks of my life, with some real frustrations, losses and major sadness, but I'm okay. I'm better than okay, I am good. Just coming home to Elise, even if she is crying or fussing (which she was not - she was in super-cool-awake-mode) makes all the other stuff that would have been overwhelming a bit seem manageable.
Things still kind of sucked, but she's too important to let it get me down for too long.


Meredith aka Momma:
Sure, I have been entrusted with caring for Elise by myself plenty of times. There were several days over the past four weeks that Marty went into work for a few hours for a meeting, ran to the store for errands or went on a 68 mile bike ride. But, I came to realize this week, Marty going back to work full time is another thing entirely. I did not realize the luxury it was to be able to "tag team" with Elise - to be able to pass her to another person for a few minutes to give arms (and ears) a break. To have someone else in the house to talk to that actually talks back! To be able to take a shower!

The hardest part about Marty going back to work has not just been that there is no tag team all day while he's is at work. It's that Marty needs to be able to get enough sleep to be able to function while he's at work, therefore there is also no more tag team at night. Holy sleep deprivation! I must say I have a whole new respect for single parents. Talk about exhausting!

But of course, with all that exhaustion also comes tons of joy. It's amazing how quickly time passes when you are starring adoringly at your beautiful baby. I love being able to spend so much time with my adorable daughter, who makes me smile and laugh out loud countless times a day, and I wouldn't trade in all that quality time for the world. She makes a new face or a new noise and I am there to see it and enjoy it. I am starting to figure out the difference between her cries (hungry, tired, hot, wet diaper, bored), what she likes (going outside, bouncing) and doesn't like (getting her hair washed, having a dirty diaper) and all those little things in between. Each day we are figuring each other out a little more, and each day it gets a little easier. True, I still haven't quite figured out how to work in that shower, but I am sure that I'll figure it out eventually. Right?