The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

One year ago this week, we were riddled with anxiety, fretting about leaving Ellie in daycare with strangers in a strange place for the first time. Will she love it (and them)? Will they take good care of her? Will she make friends? Will I have a nervous breakdown worrying that I made the wrong decision to put her in daycare? Will I have to start selling my organs so we can afford a nanny?

Well, here we are one year later in a very similar boat. We have been through the whole daycare rigmarole before, so the anxiety about daycare in general isn’t there. But we've started Ellie in a new daycare this week and all the old feelings are flooding back. The first time it was hard on us, but this time it might be a little harder on her. Last time she started a new daycare she was just three months old and had no idea what the heck was going on and frankly didn’t care who was holding her as long as she was being held and fed. (Sidebar: she is still partial to people who feed her).

Now it’s a little different because she is aware and more particular. She never cried when we dropped her off at her old daycare, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that she spent 9 hours a day three days a week with these people since before she could remember. She loved them like family because they were a regular part of her world. They were there through it all in the past year – they watched her grow, learn to crawl, learn to walk, learn to run, learn to tackle…

Now it’s a new place with new caretakers and new kids…new everything! The new place recognizes that all this “new” can be rough on kids, so they have an “immersion process” for the first week. The first day, child and parent stay together for just two hours. The next day the two of you stay there for three hours. The next day you leave the child at the daycare by herself for just two hours, the next day 4 hours and the last day 6 hours.

Marty accompanied her on her first day. She was a little tentative at first, unsure what to make of all of the kids and chaos (there are many more children at this place). She was also unsure what to make of these new kids, until one little girl, Andrea (who is about one month younger than Ellie) came up to Ellie and gave her a very warm Welcome hug and kiss. Ellie was a little confused by this greeting at first, but then returned the greeting, giving Andrea a big hug and kiss on the lips back. This bizarre ritual set the stage for Ellie making a new best friend (Olivia who?!) and the two of them stuck by each other the rest of the day. Ellie even grabbed Andrea’s hand and tried to take her with them when they were leaving. Note from Marty: Andrea squandered her best friend status when on day two of the immersion process Andrea crawled into the lap of Ellie's Opa. Nobody, and I mean nobody gets to share Ellie's Opa. She pushed, and shoved her old best friend out of his lap faster than a dog scratches a flea.

This new daycare also has a lot of different rituals and procedures. For example, once a day all of the kids sit together in a circle and sing songs together (circle time). On Monday, Marty laughed at the prospect that Ellie would ever sit still in a circle for any length of time that exceeds 5 seconds. On the first day, he wasn’t far off in that assessment. But by Wednesday, it was reported that she only got up briefly once during the entire 20 minute circle time! This is a big deal for our wild child! Another big deal is the outdoor time. Elise is an outdoor and playground fiend. There is no place she would rather be than running around, sliding, falling or swinging around on something. This daycare spends a great deal of the day building the kids muscles outside with climbing, jumping and swinging all over the joint. Ellie has come home with some bumps, a couple of bruises and lots of little mosquito bites as proof that she is having a blast doing what she loves the most.

The other very different part about this daycare is the napping situation. At the old place, they had cribs and pack n plays for the kids to nap in, so Ellie was always nicely contained. Here, they nap on mats on the floor. Again, we chuckled at the idea that Ellie would lay on a mat on the floor and go to sleep. Even when she's really tired she has a compulsion to get up and run around her crib like a crazy person before falling asleep! But once again, we were proven wrong because on Friday she slept on a mat on the floor for an hour.

I don't know what kind of magic they're working at this joint, but I think I like it!

Notes from a daddy: By way of more color commentary - the staff at the new place is far more cosmopolitan in comparison. The lead teacher is from Peru and teaches the children in English and Spanish. Our personal favorite teacher is a young woman from Sweden who speaks Swedish, Somali, Arabic and English and I've requested lessons for both Elise and I. Mostly because children are sponges at this point and I REALLY want to be able to read all those instructions from IKEA. In addition to all the foreign languages flying around out of the mouths of babes, you also have to watch out for the sign language. Elise already uses about three to five sign language words now, but they have words for many more words they teach the children. What the difference really comes down to is both places took care of my child, but this place nourishes her mind and body too.