One Year Ago Today...

I can barely believe that at this time one year ago today I was in labor, a few short hours away from meeting Elise Lawler Molloy for the first time. In a way, it feels like the time has flown by...I can still remember all of the little details like it was yesterday. I remember that Marty and I were watching Kill Bill 2 and had just finished eating dinner (Bocca Burgers, fries and broccoli) when my friend Shoshana called, and when she said "How are you doing?" and I said, "I think I might be in labor. How can you tell?" (there was no mistaking that I was in labor a little later in the evening). I remember how genuinely surprised I was when the doctor said I had a baby girl. Holding her for the first time, the slimy little naked baby, warm and soft. How tiny she was...those long skinny fingers. The way she looked around the delivery room right after she was born, like she was checking things out - so alert - full of curiosity even then! How I couldn't even think about sleeping, even though it was the middle of the night and I was exhausted from labor, because I had this rush of adrenaline and the need to keep my eyes on her, relishing every single second of her presence.

And yet in some ways I can hardly believe that she has only been a part of our lives for one short year. This time, one year ago today, I had yet to lay my eyes on her: this person who my life has revolved around for the past 12 months. I didn't know anything about her personality or what she would look like. I didn't know that she would love bouncing and bananas and peek-a-boo. That she would have sensitive skin and be allergic to everything! That she would have red hair or that she would be practically bald and nearly toothless when she was a year old. That she would never stop moving and love to be the center of attention. I didn't even know she was a she! I can't even really remember what it was like before I was a mom; before I had this precious little person in my life who brings so much joy.

Sure, I'm being sappy and sentimental, but how can I not be? We have been through so much together this past year and she has changed and grown in so many ways. But in some ways she is still that warm little wide-eyed baby I pulled on to my chest at 2:12am one year ago tomorrow.

And now I truly understand why we celebrate birthdays.